Can I meet the family of my liver donor?

Recipients of donated organs often want to find out specifics about the person who donated the organ they received. In contrast, one of the basic tenets of organ donation is anonymity. This secrecy is necessary to protect the surviving family members’ privacy. The donor family has likely experienced a traumatic event and the premature loss of a loved one. They may not be ready to meet a stranger who is living because of their loss. Sometimes, at a later date, many families who donate their relative’s organs wish to know where and to whom the organs went.

Although there are no laws that prohibit donors and recipients from meeting, all OPOs have established privacy policies to protect both parties to the donation. However, this right to privacy may be waived if the two groups agree to meet.

The mechanism for meeting is initiated by writing a letter. The recipient is encouraged to write a letter to the donor family expressing his or her gratitude, hopes, and wishes for the future. The OPO, during its postdonation discussion with the donor family, makes them aware that the recipient may write letters to the donor family that will be kept at the OPO. Some families leave instructions with the OPO to not forward any such letters, because they do not want to reexperience the pain of losing their loved one. If the donor family wishes to know whether a letter is waiting for them, they can contact the OPO. The OPO can then forward the letter with all names removed. If the two parties interact frequently (always via the OPO), they may choose to meet. In these special circumstances where both parties want to meet and talk and both waive the right to privacy, a joint session is occasionally arranged by the OPO with the assistance of a specially trained chaperone.

A meeting between the donor family and the recipient can have long-lasting, powerful effects on both. Sometimes, bonds are made and communication is frequent. At other times the interaction is uncomfortable and terminated. Remember—every family grieves differently.